Why brilliant women stay stuck

When experiencing a massive amount of resistance lately, I realized WHY brilliant women (like us ... you and me) experience it.

In this episode I talk about why we get stuck in procrastination and “wallpaper thoughts,” and how coaching helps you see the pattern you’ve normalized so you can move. 

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Transcript

No Long Intro Let’s Go

SPEAKER_00 0:06

I'm so glad that you're here. You're listening to What the Fuck Did She Just Say? With your host. That's me, Stephanie FootStable. I'm all about living our best life and finding our zone of brilliance and then removing the resistance so that we can go all in. I say random crazy gift, which is why I called this podcast the way that I did. And I really hate long, drawn-out intros. So let's fucking go. Welcome back to

Wedding Outfit Confidence Crash

SPEAKER_00 0:40

the podcast, girl. Today is going to be story time with Sandra. So my husband and I went to a wedding this weekend. And a few weeks before that, I was looking through my closet and just I didn't feel confident or comfortable in anything that I saw hanging there. So I went shopping for a few days. I tried on a ton of different clothes. I went with my daughter. I mean, I really had this version of a beautiful, colorful dress that would make me feel so great and, you know, really be flattering. As it turns out, I could not find one. So I ended up wearing the same old tired pants and some really kick-ass shoes, a shirt that I bought that was new that I didn't really like, but everyone else seemed to like it. And I went to this wedding. When I was getting dressed, kind of whining, bitching, moaning to my husband about the fact that I had gained this permenopause weight. And now, even that I'm in postmenopause, it seems like the puffiness isn't going away. I mean, let's face it, the hot flashes are still here. I thought they went away when to hit postmenopause. Apparently not. And so I was just kind of like having a basic bitch whiny moment, you know? And so my husband is like, you know, I really think you gotta get either back to the gym or do some sort of physical activity because you've kind of fallen off. And like

Smart Women And Stubborn Resistance

SPEAKER_00 2:05

if I could have throat punched him in that moment, I would have, not because he was wrong, but because he was telling me what I already knew to be true and I was absolutely resisting. Like, even if I lose no weight, physical activity is always good for once you get to your 40s, 50s, 60s, like you gotta move your body, girl, right? And so today I started looking for different programs that I wasn't bored of. It was something new. I needed that sort of dopamine hit of like, how can it be new? How can I believe this is gonna work? Because you know, belief is 95% of everything. And I realized something. Some of the smartest women I know are the most resistant bitches in the room. And it's not because they don't want to do the work, it's not because they're just wanting to kind of be argumentative. Like I wasn't wanting to be argumentative. When my husband was saying, I think you should, you know, go back to the gym or do some sort of physical activity. I like when I wanted to throw punch him, it wasn't because he was wrong. It was because smart women like me and like you, we're brilliant problem solvers. We're the ones that have to figure it all out. We're the ones that have to manage the family, we're the ones that have to figure everyone else's stuff out. We're also the ones that people come to for help. So we end up thinking, fuck this, I should be able to figure this out. I'm not gonna take your advice. So when something isn't working, we don't look for support outside, we look for another strategy because we're used to figuring it all out. So, what do we do? We look for another workout, we look for another podcast, we look for another book, we look for another planner, we look for another course, we look for all of the things, but we also are too close to the problem to be able to see outside of it. That's why it's so easy for me to coach someone else because I don't have any of your shit. It's really easy for my coach to coach me. She doesn't have any of the thoughts that I have in my mind. She can just sit outside of it and go, yeah, do this. That's really makes it so easy because all I need to do is find the coach, hire the coach, listen to the coach, trust the coach, bam, success happens. But smart women like me and like you, we like to figure it out on our own. We can't. We can't see the thing that keeps us stuck because our brain has normalized it. So it's it's like it becomes just wallpaper, like just shit that you're looking at all the time, you don't even pay attention to it. That's what happens with our thinking. Women all the time tell me, I don't know why I'm procrastinating. I don't know why I just can't stick to this plan. Why is nothing working? But the thing is, you've gotten yourself into this pattern of resistance where when you start a process and you don't see results right away, you retreat, you procrastinate, you pull back, you decide fuck

Wallpaper Thoughts And Blind Spots

SPEAKER_00 5:10

it. And that's what I love about coaching because when that bullshit shows up, I can interrupt you in the exact second it does. Imagine it's like this. So you're driving in your vehicle and there's like a little ticking sound. Every single day, eventually you don't even notice someone else gets in your vehicle and within 30 seconds they say, What the fuck is that ticking sound? It's driving me crazy. You don't notice it at all because it just becomes this is just my car. This is why I love coaching. Because even though you don't notice your patterns, I absolutely notice your patterns. So coaching isn't really about fixing you, it's allowing you to see what you've stopped seeing or seeing things from a different perspective. Most women don't need another piece of information. They need someone to hear the sentences that they don't hear anymore, the stuff that they've said on repeat that's holding them back. Stuff like, I'm just not ready. I'll do it when my life calms down. Maybe next month I'll do this. Maybe I'm not ready for it. Those sentences are fucking expensive. And they're expensive for me too. And that's why I work with coaches. That's why athletes have coaches, that's why CEOs have advisors. There's a sentence that says something like, You can't see the label when you're inside the bottle. It is damn near impossible to figure your shit out on your own because you're surrounded in your old wallpaper that you don't even notice you've got. And that's the magic of coaching because the coach can listen and go, whoa, wait a minute. No, that's not helping you. That's an expensive thought. Why don't you what about this? Twisted around so completely quickly that the limiting belief just dissolves. It's like someone that shows you, wait a minute, that's bullshit. This is why. Now let's move. And it just magically works. What I love about coaches that I work with is that it always feels to me like they hold the vision. They hold the vision for me, they hold the belief in me until I catch up to them. And that's what I do for my clients. I have clients that are moving at the speed of light. They are achieving things they never thought they would ever be able to achieve and faster than they ever thought that they would be able to achieve them. Why? Because I knew where they were gonna go, I knew what was blocking them, and then moved. So while you're listening to this, I want you to think about what is the sentence you've been repeating for so long? It doesn't even sound like a belief anymore. It just sounds like who you are. Where is the wallpaper in your life? Where is the wallpaper in your thoughts? That's the work. Figuring out what bullshit lines you have been saying to yourself over and over and over and over again so that it feels like it is stitched into the skin that you've got. That is holding you back. So if you've listened to this and you're wondering what your blind spots are, that is what I love to do. I love to be able to help you through the resistance. I don't spend an hour giving you a motivational pep talk. I mean, I can. I could probably stand on stage and give you a motivational pep talk. I love doing it. But I listen, I ask questions, I notice the patterns that you've stopped noticing. We find the thought, the belief, the story, the patterns that's quietly running the show. We find your wallpaper and then we shift it because once you can see it, then you have the power to change it. It's amazing to me because women will say things all the time and I think, whoop, there's your block writing there. But they say it so naturally that it just flies out of their mouth as though it's the wallpaper. I love to be the person that's outside the bottle

Free Call Invite And Wrap

SPEAKER_00 9:15

that can actually read the label. So if you're ready to cut through the resistance and just work with someone who can see the vision, who can have the belief, who knows what you're capable of and wants to help you get there as fast as possible. There's a link in my bio for a free 15-minute call. We'll figure out a way forward together because I do not want any powerful, brilliant woman like you sitting on the sidelines for the rest of her life. That is not what we came here to do. We came here not to play small. We came here to live our three. You got this? Let's go. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you've had some laughs, maybe some ideas, and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you've always dreamed of. If you feel so called, I would love it if you would share with your festive. Leave a review down below. I look forward to bringing you along with, and I will see you in the next episode.