Becoming the Woman Who Does What She Says She’ll Do

I had started half-assing the recordings for this podcast ... and then a few weeks ago I LOCKED IN.  I made a commitment to myself (and to Kim ... hi Kim!) that I was going to drop an episode every Monday at 5am.

Then Chef Bobby Flay's podcast dropped off that same week!!!  (it's my current fave).

In this episode I talk about becoming the woman who follows through and I give a few tips on how to start that!

• noticing how easy it is to slide into “I’ll do it later” 
• choosing identity over motivation (motivation is an emotion) 
• building self trust by keeping promises to ourselves 
• starting with micro commitments like making the bed daily 
• upgrading language from “I’ll try” to “I am the woman who…” 
• creating an anchor ritual like short daily meditation for nervous system regulation and cortisol support 

What is one promise you can keep today, no matter what?  Make one promise to yourself and go do that. 

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Transcript

Why Showing Up Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:34

So let's fucking go. Welcome back to another episode of What the Fuck Did She Just Say? Today we're going to talk about becoming the woman who does what she says she's going to do. And you know what? We're going to use this podcast as illustration. Here's what's interesting. Today is episode 258. I never dreamed when I first started my podcast. I never dreamed that I would get

The Trap Of Doing It Later

SPEAKER_00 1:05

to 258. I sort of thought this is going to be a fun experiment, but I struggle with sticking to shit. So maybe I'm not going to be able to continue, but you know what? We're just going to try it. What I noticed after I started podcasting and I started really listening to a ton more podcasts is that a lot of people will start them and then drop off. Or they'll start podcasts and then they'll take a couple of breaks for a couple of weeks or a few months or a year and then pick it back up again. I fell into that pattern. I fell into that pattern of does it really matter if I drop a podcast this week? Does it really matter if I drop a podcast at five in the morning on Monday or five in the afternoon on Monday? Like, does it really matter? And I kind of slipped into this place of, I really

A 5 AM Monday Commitment

SPEAKER_00 2:05

want to do this. I love podcasting, but I'll do it later. It wasn't convenient in my day. It might have been Sunday night, which is usually when I uh record them. And it just didn't feel like it was essential. However, if you listened back a few more episodes ago on this podcast, you will know that a woman named Kim had um jokingly said to one of my clients that um her whole day was thrown off because I didn't drop my podcast early that morning on Monday. And so I committed to Kim and to myself that I was gonna drop a podcast every Monday at five in the morning. Here's what's funny about it. That same week, Bobby Flay, I listened to Bobby on the Beat, which is Bobby Flay, the chef Bobby Flay's podcast. Bobby Flay

Getting Burned By Missed Uploads

SPEAKER_00 3:00

didn't drop an episode. And then last week, he didn't drop it again. I was so pissed. I was like looking all day long. Did it what time does he drop them? I don't even know. I gotta check. And part of what he says, like about his podcast, is that he wants you to kind of start off your week with a podcast from him, which is exactly what I say. PS We're on the same, we're on the same plane here, Bobby. Except he stopped showing up. I'm sure he's busy. I saw he was on Good Morning America. He was traveling all over the place, but still, you know, I'm waiting for the podcast, Bobby. But here's what is so interesting the majority of podcasts, I did not know this, the majority of podcasters they start, and up to 90% of podcasts end after episode three. And of the remaining 10% that continue on, the majority of them end

Most Podcasts Quit Fast

SPEAKER_00 4:05

on episode 20. So here we are, 258. Go me. And also, I want to talk about what what thought process kind of got me to hear. I I had committed to myself that I was gonna do this podcast and I was going to uh drop them at least once a week. However, I started negotiating with those commitments, and this wasn't even about my business, but it was about who I was being. I wasn't being the person who was in integrity with myself. I wasn't honoring my own commitments to myself. And not only does that never feel good, but it feels like it feels like failure, right? When you set out to do something and then you don't follow through, it sends this internal bat signal that says you're failing, you're not following through.

Integrity And The Feeling Of Failure

SPEAKER_00 5:10

And what happens is we either start again or we don't. We play even smaller because we're shitting on ourselves for not following through in the first place. We act in alignment with who we believe that we are. So if I believe that I'm disciplined and that I'm going to honor commitments that I made to myself because for no other reason, like not even for the outcome, but for the joy of feeling that power of committing, I'm gonna take action even if no one fucking listens to this podcast. I'm gonna show up because I love speaking on this podcast. I'm gonna show up for the three people who may watch it or listen to it this week. P.S. There's like there was 800 people that listened to my podcast a few weeks ago. So it's more than three, but still, you know what I mean. P.S. 800 people. That is so fucking amazing. You have no idea. Anyway, back at the bus. So, you know, I'm I'm going to start because I said that I was going to, I'm going to honor the commitments to myself, and I'm going to enjoy the process of creating. I'm going to enjoy the process and the empowerment and the

Identity Beats Motivation

SPEAKER_00 6:35

feeling of satisfaction and success of doing the thing that I said that I was going to do. This isn't about motivation because motivation is like an emotion. Motivation comes and fucking goes. And if we're waiting on motivation or we're waiting on perfection, it's never gonna fucking happen. But when we decide who we're going to be, when we decide to take on a new identity, an identity of the person who shows up every single week, an identity of the person that has this amazing, blissful, joyful life with filled with success and abundance. The identity is about being the kind of person who has those things now. And it's being the kind of person who follows through even when we don't feel like it, even when we don't have the motivation. There have been days where I haven't been motivated to show up. I haven't been motivated to press record. As soon as I do, I come alive. But it takes some self-talk in order for me to get to the place where I'm going to press record because I'm not feeling motivated that day. What's amazing is that every time you keep a promise to yourself, you build self-trust. And

Micro Commitments Like Making Your Bed

SPEAKER_00 8:05

every time you break it, you start to chip away at that foundation. So we can practice living from this identity, taking action based on the identity of who we want to be. We can kind of look at that in a few different ways. First is commitments and even micro commitments. So choose one small thing that aligns with your new identity and do it every single day. One of the things that I love to start my clients out with is making their bed. Making their bed every single day. You would not believe how incredible this is when you decide you're going to get up and you're going to make your bed every single day before you go to work, before you leave, or you know, before you even leave your room. When we start to do one small task like that, it honors who we are and it also honors like our future self. It's almost like treating ourselves with respect in advance, making sure that when we walk into the bedroom later that night, that we feel relaxed

Stop Saying Try Start Saying I Am

SPEAKER_00 9:20

and cared for. It is, it's such a small microcommitment, but it's so huge. The other thing is language. So instead of saying, I'm trying to or I'm going to try to do this, I want you to say, I am the woman who makes her bed every day. I'm the woman who shows up on a podcast every single day. I am the woman who drinks all of her water every single day. I am the woman who is a massively powerful statement. And when you can sort of shift what you say to that, instead of I'm trying to, everything shifts. The other thing is an anchor ritual. So doing a tangible action every single day that reaffirms the identity of the person who has the thing that you want, like that next level self. So let's say you're the person that wants to regulate

Anchor Rituals For Your Nervous System

SPEAKER_00 10:20

her nervous system or bring down her cortisol. The thing that you might want to do every single day is meditation. I would suggest you don't decide that you're going to start off, never meditated before, and you're going to start off with, I'm going to do one hour of meditation where I just listen to Hertz music and see what fucking happens, you know, try to be as zen as possible. But what you can do is start small. So you can decide that you're going to listen to Hertz music um for 10 minutes a day, or you're going to just sit and breathe for five minutes a day, or you're going to listen to one of my uh guided meditations for 15 minutes. Usually my meditations are only 15 minutes, but so you're going to listen to one of my guided meditations for 15 minutes every single day to start you off. That is your anchor ritual. We don't become the woman who takes action because we've thought about it. Thinking energy is not doing energy. Thinking energy is just procrastination in a fancy dress. You become that next level self by showing up when it would be easier not to do it. It would be much easier for me to sit,

Action Builds Self Trust Bricks

SPEAKER_00 11:40

have a sandwich on Sunday night instead of recording this podcast and then um editing it. As soon as I finish this recording and I upload it, I feel the most empowered, the best self that I am stepping into and I am gaining those bricks of self-trust. Integrity starts with your word, and identity is built through action, taking action no matter what, in that no matter what energy. And that's how you reclaim like who you really are and what you can accomplish. So think about this in terms of what is one promise you can keep today, no matter what. One promise to yourself and go do that. Thank

One Promise To Keep Today

SPEAKER_00 12:35

you so much for listening. I hope you've had some laughs, maybe some ideas, and that you've been inspired to take some type of output toward the life you always don't know. If you feel so called, I would love it if you would go with you.