What's behind door number 3?! Open to see ...

It's Day 3 on my Podcast Advent Calendar and today I'm talking about something that I think is soooooo important for all of us.

A ZEN DEN.

I mean ... the holidays can be freakin stressful can't they?  We are surrounded by more people (and all of THEIR energy) everywhere we go.  Our homes are stuffed full of presents and decorations, baking and ... people.

In this episode I talk about how you can quickly create a space that can regulate your nervous system and how YOU can change the emotional temperature of your whole home and everyone else in it.

Also ... if you're wanting a really good visual for calming down ... check out Season 2 Episode 143!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Fast Intro And Focus
• 0:38 Zenden Concept Explained
• 1:26 Holiday Overload And Sensory Stress
• 2:42 Personal Zenden Stories
• 4:52 Pick A Spot That Feels Safe
• 6:03 Four Steps To Create Calm
• 7:16 Breathing To Reset Fast
• 8:31 Final Recap And Gentle CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:08

You are listening to what the fuck does it just say? What the fuck your host of hosts are. I'm all about living our best life and finding our zone of brilliance and then removing the resistance so that we can go all in. I say random craziness, which is why I called this podcast the way that I did it. And I really hate long, drawn-out intros. So let's fucking go. Welcome back to another episode of What the Fuck Did She Just Say? Today is day three of our podcast advent calendar. And I'm so excited for day three because it's one of the things that I actually talk to my clients about when I first start working with them. And it's creating your Zenden. So a Zenden is a place where your nervous system calms down. It's when your brain stops thinking or stops overthinking. And it's like where your body just gets five minutes. It isn't about the decor, it's really just about a place where you feel safe and you feel like you can relax. And I think it's really important that we have one because we are exposed and particularly at Christmas, right? Because we're exposed to a ton more people than we're used to. Restaurants are busier, the shopping malls are busier, grocery stores are more chaotic, and we're going to parties and we're surrounded by people and we have people over. And it's a lot. We are surrounded by uh like more things. We're surrounded by Christmas trees and presents and decor that is not usually there, more people. And it's like you cannot think or reset or breathe in an environment that's constantly screaming at you. Do this, do this. You need more baking. What about the presents? Have you wrapped them yet? So a Zenden is sort of a place where you're just your nervous system can calm down. Your brain can calm down. Um, my Zenden actually used to be my bathroom. I love just going into the bathroom, the ensuite, shutting my door, and just existing in there for a minute, five minutes, just calm down. And I intentionally made sure that because that was identified as my Zenden, I intentionally made sure that I had things in there that I loved, even just like fuzzy towels or perfume that I really, really liked, or just, you know, things that made it feel special to me. That's what I intentionally did. When I uh designed my office, I sort of switched, and that was by Zendon because I loved it so much. I loved that my Sarah Jessica Parker shoes were in there on the shelf. And I loved that I had little twinkle lights around them. And it was just, it is so much of who I am that I love it. But here's the thing that Zenden is now currently stuffed full of unwrapped presents, wrapped presents. It is like Santa's workshop and it feels stressful as fuck. So I know that it's way too much. Like the environment is literally screaming at me. Have you bought enough presents? Do you have equal numbers for everyone? Do you have um everything wrapped? Is there something that you've ordered that you've forgotten? Where's where's the Amazon dude? Like all of these things start to scream at me when I'm in that office. So I need to create a new space, a new place that just feels amazing. So I currently am not recording in my office. I am recording in my bedroom. I absolutely love it in here. I can shut the door. It feels quiet, it feels calm. And so this is my space. So the first thing I want you to pick a spot. Doesn't need to be your dream room, doesn't need to be like the, you know, on the cover of minimalism journal. It just needs to be a real life place that already exists in your home, but it's the place where you just kind of feel like, uh, I I really love being here. So no matter where that is, if it's your side of the bed, if it is a chair by the window, doesn't really matter. But just pick a place that just feels amazing and also feels like you don't have to do a ton of work to make it that way, right? Like on December 3rd, you are not going to tackle a room that looks like it is stuff full, like Monica's closet off of friends, right? Like let's not, that's aspirational. We can do that after you know, January. That'll be January's chore. But find a place that feels like this feels good, but I can zhuzh it up a little bit. So once you create your space, clear the immediate chaos. You don't have to reorganize everything, but just like look at what is fucking yelling at you in the space. So it could be piles of laundry, Christmas lights that are half working. I mean, remove everything that's sort of yelling at you. And then step three is just to add an item that you love. And it could be a candle, it might be a really nice pillow, a cozy blanket, like something that just speaks to comfort. And then step four is make sure that it's easy to keep like that. It's low effort, that you intentionally go there for just five minutes. If you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're feeling like you want to scream or cry, or you're, you know, just feeling like your nervous system is dysregulated. Go intentionally spend five minutes in your Zen Den. Do some breathing. You know, quite honestly, we don't breathe deeply enough. And I think we're just chronically needing a deep breath. So do something like a box breath where you breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four, and then hold that for four. It's amazing how much better you'll feel within like even just like don't make it fancy. Fuck. Breathe in, hold it for a bit, breathe out, sigh when you breathe out. It makes a huge difference in how you show up for the people that you care about and for yourself. The Zendan isn't about luxurious, it doesn't have to be fancy, it's really about resetting your nervous system so you don't lose your shit. You know, and in it's funny because one person that feels a little bit more calm can change the entire emotional vibe of your house. You don't need to meditate, you don't need to journal, you don't need to fix all of your crap, you don't need to do subliminal reprogramming. Like you can literally just go there, spend five minutes, take a deep breath, close your eyes, wait for a second. The magic is in the pause. So that's your day three. Pick a spot, clear out the shit, have something comforting, and claim your five minutes. You're doing a lot, and you deserve five minutes. Now go have an amazing day, and I'll see you back here for day four. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you've had some laughs, maybe some ideas, and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you've always wanted to. If you feel so called, I would love it if you would start with your best games or leave a review down below. I'll afford in August even.