WTF did she just say?
Oh my goshhhhhhhhhh welcome to my podcast!!! I'm so excited that you're here and I am honoured that you choose to place ME in your AirPods every week!!!
Here's a bit about me:
My name is Sandra. I'm a business coach for women, a feng shui practitioner and a 2x national leadership award winner. In saying all of that though, I feel like I'm just a girl from Saskatchewan, who is put on this earth to inspire you to step into your power ... right fuckin' now.
I think that all too often, we convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do ... that our life "is what it is" and that ONE DAY we might be able to have the life that we dreamed of.
Uhmmmm NO.
That's bullshit.
Sorry ... but it's true. In a split second, you can choose differently. In THIS moment, you can take that courageous step toward the life you desire. It's my job, my gift and my obsession to help you share your sparkle with the world and I'm excited to get started.
You got this. Let's go.
Sandra
WTF did she just say?
The T word: TRIGGER ... and how to navigate them powerfully
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I'm so glad that you're here. You are listening to what the fuck did she just say with your host? That's me, sandra Priestly. I'm all about living our best life and finding our zone of brilliance and then removing the resistance so that we can go all in. I say random, crazy shit, which is why I called this podcast the way that I did, and I really hate long drawn out intros, so let's fucking go.
Speaker 1:Well, yesterday on the podcast, I told you that because it was minus 3,652 degrees Celsius up here in Canada. I'm just joking, it isn't, but I do not like frostbite. So instead of walking outside, I did choose to walk the walking track, the indoor walking track, and yesterday I was so ballsy to say that I find meaning in almost everything and I had such an awareness and such an intrigue to the people that were on the walking track with me and I wondered how much did they overcome to get there? And who was working the hardest was the person that overcame their own bullshit thoughts and excuses and showed up anyway. Who fought through the pain, who fought through the excuses and the rationale and showed up anyway. So yesterday I thought man, I'm on fire, I love this. And when I went today, I thought the same thing was going to happen. As it turns out it did not. I felt like, as I was walking, I had two functioning brain cells. They were not at all close together, they were not generating heat. I didn't have a good thought in my brain, but yet I think it did start to get the brilliance going in me, because after my walk I was speaking with a client.
Speaker 1:She's been navigating something that was really particularly hurtful for her in the past and she didn't want to be constantly reminded of this horrible situation. But yet several times a month, or numerous times a month, it's sort of placed in her face and she feels like she's triggered and she doesn't want to feel that anymore. What she said to me was want to feel that anymore. What she said to me was at what point am I going to feel nothing? I just want to feel nothing. How long will it be before I feel nothing? And my response was this if you are searching for feeling nothing, you are chasing the wrong thing.
Speaker 1:Our emotions are tied to a situation in the past. We're going to feel them. It's going to be an emotional response that our body feels first. I mean, if you think about it, even when my son was young and we had a fireplace and he put his hand on the fireplace. He pulled his hand back, he reacted, his body felt the pain, he reacted, stood there for a moment and then he cried. Then his brain registered that it hurt, right, but the initial I touch the fireplace and I recoil my hand, that initial response was a body response.
Speaker 1:That, my friend, is normal, and if you're feeling something, you see someone or you do something, or you see a situation, or you read a Facebook post, and you have an emotion to it, it's fucking normal. It's normal to have that emotion, and so to expect that you're not going to have that is probably chasing some monk-like state, and that probably does take years and years and years and years. I don't even know if I could ever get to that place. How many of us do get to that place? How many of us do Not? Initially, anyway, but we can control our response. So our first emotional reaction to something that happens in the split second we cannot control that it's an emotion, it's immediate. Our body feels pain and has a bodily reaction to it. What is your choice, though, is how you respond. It's the second reaction that is within your control. So in her case I mean my client was feeling the emotion and feeling she was failing, feeling the emotion and feeling she was wrong when actually she wasn't, because she could see the situation, recognize that it's caused an emotion she does not like and choose. The choice is the power. If someone hurt you deeply in the past and you see that person again today, I will guarantee you will have an emotion to it Doesn't mean you're not healed.
Speaker 1:Eckhart Tolle talks about pain body, your pain body, and I remember feeling triggered by something like feeling this flush in my face, like having the physical reaction, and I physically said, whoop, my pain body was triggered. And what that does is it completely separates out your feeling from who you are. When our pain body is triggered, it is literally just an accumulation of old emotional pain that lives in us and it's like separate from who we are. It gets triggered by situations that feel similar to past wounds and then, when it takes over, we feel it and we react emotionally like maybe explosively, irrationally, with deep, deep hurt. The pain body thrives on that. It's like, ooh, yes, here we go. Drama, conflict, suffering. It's like you feed it with that. But our pain body is not who we are. When it gets activated, it feels like it takes over and it makes us feel like we are that pain. But we're not.
Speaker 1:And Eckhart Tolle talks about when we can observe our pain body without getting consumed by it, we dissolve its power. And that is absolutely what I felt. I felt as though bringing awareness to it, even just saying, oh, my pain body was triggered, we interrupt the loop. So, instead of having that pain body triggered and feeling like a fucking failure for reacting or for having the emotion at all, the focus needs to be on changing the response. Whoa, I feel this intense fear. I feel this intense emotion of some type Huh, my pain body was triggered. As soon as we recognize that. And for me, as soon as I say, oh yeah, my pain body was triggered. As soon as we recognize that. And for me, as soon as I say, oh yeah, my pain body was triggered, it was immediate where I could go. Oh, this is just old shit, this is not my current self, I am okay, I am safe.
Speaker 1:If you were sitting that back and thinking that healing or being a hundred percent healed means never reacting or never feeling that emotional reaction, you're wrong. It's bullshit. Healing isn't about being completely neutral about absolutely everything. That's just not life. You're not responsible for your initial emotional feeling or reaction, but you are responsible for what happens next. I'll give you an example. But you are responsible for what happens next. I'll give you an example.
Speaker 1:You post something on social and this is one that I've worked through myself. So you post something on social media and someone comments some asshole comment online. Cause apparently that seems to be the thing nowadays, like we can just shit on someone online, like we give our own asshole comments in the comment section. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I could do a whole podcast on how much I can't stand the fact that people say stupid shit to others that they would never say to their face. Anyway, let's just go with the fact that you post something on social media and an asshat comments.
Speaker 1:Your pain body might be triggered because of an old wound, of feeling you're not good enough or feeling like you're wrong, and that could come from, you know, like something from grade two, like we're not even going to analyze it. It doesn't even really matter what comes from. I think that every single one of us to some degree has an I'm not good enough trip switch. But what happens is your pain body is activated by this comment. It reminds you of an old wound that you've got and immediately your pain body is triggered. And it's not necessarily the thing that you saw, but it's the emotion, it's how it's attached to the old thing that happened to you, or the old belief, right the thing that's in the back of your subconscious mind. Suddenly, you're not just mad at the asshole that posted the comment, but you're also feeling that, in addition to everything that led up to that, every time you felt like you've been judged, dismissed or not good enough, like all of a sudden that you are feeling the emotional reaction, not of the situation that was at hand, but you're also feeling what happened in combination with all of the other past hurts and it's all coming together and the pain body is like come on, girl, let's just lose our shit on this person. Right now. This is what happens, and when we can just stay in awareness, we can notice whoa, this is my pain body.
Speaker 1:Once you recognize it, you have a choice React or respond. Reaction is an automatic, almost like lose your shit kind of a comment. You are not in your power. Response is where you can take power in the pause. Take a deep breath and choose your next, best empowered way to act. Instead of saying to yourself why am I reacting like this? Why am I feeling this? What is wrong with me? Why am I not healed? When you just say, oh, my pain body just got poked, oh, this reminds me of old shit, you create distance between yourself and the trigger. You recognize that the trigger is not you. So catch it in the moment. Stop, take a breath, sip some water, touch something, ground yourself and give yourself that power of the pause so that you can choose an empowered response. You can walk away, you can respond with curiosity instead of defense. You can remind yourself that this moment doesn't define you. You can literally sit and go oh, that's just old shit, I don't need it and move on. The shift happens in the choice that you make next.
Speaker 1:Healing isn't about never feeling triggered. It's about catching it faster and responding differently. Responding with empowerment, with emotional regulation. With emotional regulation, with emotional intelligence. You've got better things to do than doubt yourself, and you've got better things to do than let your pain body run the show. You are a powerhouse. Don't forget it.
Speaker 1:If you've loved this episode, make sure that you share it with someone that needs to hear it. If you want to dive deeper into mindset shifts like this, join us in the powerhouse membership. I promise you will think differently, feel differently, react or respond differently, gain emotional intelligence, and just life will be so much fucking easier. We'll get you into leaning into your intuition, trusting yourself and just being the powerhouse that you are. I hope you have an amazing day and we will see you back here tomorrow. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you've had some laughs, maybe some ideas, and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you've always dreamed of. If you feel so called, I would love it if you would share with your besties and leave a review down below. I look forward to bringing you along on this journey and I will see you in the next episode.
